We all can agree on this one fact, life can be messy. Life can also be confusing. I have gone through many seasons of just not knowing and understanding where I am headed in life, which can be extremely frustrating for someone like me.
I am a planner. I like to have everything down to a T. This is not always the best quality to have, especially in the story I am about to tell you.
I recently just got out of a relationship that towards the end became very draining in my spiritual life. I had everything planned out for us and I had this idea in my head it was going to last forever. I always knew there was a reason that God drew us together, however, I never thought God was going to draw us apart. I seemed to always be looking forward to my idea of what God’s plan for me was. Little did I understand that my plan is not God’s plan.
I realize that my prayers were starting to become prayers to save the relationship instead of prayers of understanding and clarity. Now, I get how silly that was. I was actually praying, “Please save this from destruction. Please just help things to work out and please just be present in this situation.” Then my prayers slowly turned into, “God help me understand that it is not my will, but your will. Help me to realize that I am not in control, but you are in control of my life.”
Now, the difference between the prayers is that the first prayer was a prayer of selfishness. I was not praying in a way that was fully giving my faith and situation over to Christ. I was being lukewarm about the whole entire thing; I was half in, half out when it came to trusting God’s plan for me. I cannot stress enough, YOU CANNOT BE HALF IN, HALF OUT, YOU HAVE TO BE FULLY IN WHEN IT COMES TO TRUSTING CHRIST. In the second prayer, I was praying from a different place. I knew then that God had bigger plans for my life and that he was going to use me for something bigger than how I was feeling, which was small and unworthy. Has a relationship or someone or something ever made you feel that way? Small or unworthy? Let me tell you something, that is not the plan God made for you when you were conceived in your mother’s womb. Yes, he had your life planned from the moment you were born! He knows every mistake we will make, he knows every trial we will go through, he knows our deepest thoughts and fears. He isn’t going to just write our plan for us in the sky, we have to ask him and quietly and patiently listen to his voice. He may give us an answer right away or maybe his answer will be just sitting here with me and wait awhile.
John 13:7 || Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
I’ve realized that you cannot make plans then pray for the plan to workout, you must first pray then make plans.
Psalm 23:1-2 || The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters
So, if you are in a season of waiting, keep waiting. If you are confused about what God’s plan is for you, keep praying and seeking him in everything you do. I promise, there is a reason for everything God does, even the little things.